I am not a big believer in New Year’s Resolutions. I find them to be similar to diets in the way they create a setup of unrealistically harsh expectations for one’s self that are bound to fail. However, there is one resolution I would suggest and celebrate for anyone to make, and this resolution improves outlook and mood, health, relationships and all other aspects of life. This resolution would be a commitment in the year 2014 to improve one’s relationship with self. The relationship we have with ourselves is the longest and most important as it forms the basis for how we see the world and make choices for our behavior.
How does one improve that relationship? One way we improve it is by becoming aware of and improving our self-talk. Many of us have developed a strong inner drill sergeant that seeks to motivate us to “be better” and “do better”. I would argue that we get a lot further with compassion for self and treating ourselves as we would a dear friend. Compassion for self does not mean denial or dishonesty, but looking at situations in our lives with the understanding we are human and deserve unconditional emotional support first and foremost. With compassion and honesty with self, we are more likely to make choices such as better self-care or reaching out for help when it is needed-and we all need help as human beings.
I would suggest mindfully starting with this intention each day. Take a few quiet minutes to meditate on the intention to be compassionate toward one’s self on a daily basis. This alone could create quite a lasting change this year. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you would like to work on a new approach to making changes and dealing with challenges. Happy New Year!