EMDR: A Pathway for Healing from Relational Trauma

Posted: July 25, 2024

Sometimes trauma comes from clearly defined moments or events in our lives, a single catastrophic moment in time. Other times, we can sustain what we consider relational trauma at a time in our lives that also leaves deep, lasting scars on a person’s mental health.

According to Frontiers in Psychology, relational trauma often stems from attachment wounds—disruptions in the essential bonds between a child and caregiver. These wounds can lead to difficulties in forming healthy attachments later in life, affecting our ability to trust, communicate, and form close, supportive relationships.

Often the lasting impact of these relational traumas can be harder to notice in one’s own life as it could be easy to write them off with statements or thoughts of “Well, that’s just the way it was,” or “I don’t talk to them anymore so I’m fine” without finding the links and patterns in our relationships.

Addressing relational trauma is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships. When trauma remains unaddressed, it can lead to repeating unhealthy patterns and reinforce feelings of insecurity or unworthiness. However, with the right therapeutic approach, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), it is possible to reprocess traumatic memories, heal attachment wounds, and foster stronger, more resilient relationships.

In this article, we’ll explore how EMDR Therapy—a comprehensive therapy approach—can be a powerful pathway to healing from relational trauma. We’ll cover:

What Is EMDR?: An introduction to EMDR Therapy and how it works.
How EMDR Helps with Relational Trauma: How this therapeutic approach can help traumatized clients process and heal from traumatic memories tied to relationships.
Is EMDR Right for You?: Guidance on deciding if EMDR is the right fit for your healing journey.
Counseling Associates for Well-Being: How our private practice can support you in your journey to emotional and relational well-being.

As you read on, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of how EMDR can help you break free from the grips of relational trauma, leading you to a place of healing and healthier relationships. If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of relational trauma, take the first step towards healing by exploring the transformative power of EMDR Therapy with our experienced clinicians at Counseling Associates for Well-Being.

What Is EMDR?

EMDR is a structured psychotherapy approach developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s. Initially designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories, EMDR has evolved into a comprehensive treatment model for various mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and PTSD. At its core, EMDR involves using bilateral stimulation typically through guided eye movements, taps, or sounds to help clients process and integrate traumatic memories.

EMDR looks a little different than your traditional “talk therapy” and is structured into 8 phases:

History Taking: The therapist gathers a comprehensive history of the client’s experiences and current challenges.
Preparation: The client learns about the EMDR process and develops coping strategies to manage any emotional distress that may arise during treatment.
Assessment: The therapist and client collaborate to identify specific memories and associated negative beliefs that will be targeted during EMDR sessions.
Desensitization: Using bilateral stimulation, the client focuses on the traumatic memory while simultaneously engaging in eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation. This phase continues until the memory becomes less distressing.
Installation: The therapist works with the client to replace negative beliefs associated with the traumatic memory with positive/neutral, adaptive beliefs.
Body Scan: The client is asked to observe their physical sensations while thinking about the positive belief, ensuring that any residual tension is addressed.
Closure: The therapist ensures the client leaves the session feeling stable and equipped with coping strategies.
Reevaluation: In subsequent sessions, the therapist and client review progress and determine if additional processing is needed.

Relational trauma can be addressed with EMDR specifically by helping people identify and target specific memories and beliefs that have resulted from past relationships. By using bilateral stimulation, EMDR helps the brain adapt and create new neural pathways to reduce emotional distress and make emotionally charged and traumatic memories less overwhelming. This then enables us to shift from our old patterns and beliefs.

How EMDR Helps with Relational Trauma

Relational trauma can profoundly affect how we form and maintain relationships throughout our lives. Trauma, particularly when it stems from early developmental experiences, can create deep-rooted patterns of behavior and emotional responses that impact our ability to trust, communicate, and feel secure in our connections with others.

Attachment Theory and Relational Trauma

Attachment theory, a key concept in understanding relational trauma, suggests that the bonds we form in early childhood with our caregivers set the stage for how we relate to others as adults. When these early attachments are marked by inconsistency, neglect, or abuse, they can lead to problematic attachment styles, such as anxious or avoidant attachment. These styles often carry into adult relationships, manifesting as difficulties in maintaining close, healthy connections.

How Relational EMDR Therapy Works:

Bilateral Stimulation: EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, to help reprocess traumatic memories. This method activates the brain’s natural healing processes, allowing the individual to integrate disturbing memories into adaptive memory networks.
Healing Emotional Wounds: By reprocessing traumatic memories, EMDR reduces the emotional charge attached to these memories, helping individuals develop healthier ways of relating to others.
Attachment-Focused EMDR: This specialized therapeutic process addresses attachment wounds specifically, using the therapeutic relationship as a safe space to explore and heal from past experiences. It helps shift attachment styles from insecure to secure, fostering more stable relationships.

Additional Reading: Read more about Attachment: When Love Makes Sense for Adults.

The process of EMDR also puts a focus on helping people develop and strengthen helpful coping strategies to better navigate challenging and distressing emotions as they arise. Through this dynamic process of processing the past and integrating new meaning in a safe environment, people can begin to rebuild their self-esteem and work towards developing a more positive self-image.

Is EMDR Right for You?

If you’re struggling with the lingering effects of trauma, particularly relational trauma, you might be wondering if EMDR Therapy is the right fit for you. This therapeutic approach has helped countless individuals process traumatic memories and build healthier relationships, but how do you know if it’s a good match for your needs?

Additional Reading: Learn more about when EMDR is a good fit in EMDR: The Importance of Assessing Client Readiness (Stability).

Who Can Benefit from EMDR: Signs That It Might Be a Good Fit

EMDR Therapy is a versatile and effective treatment for a broad range of trauma-related issues and a variety of clients. It’s especially beneficial for individuals who have experienced:

Relational Trauma: If past or present relationships have left you feeling hurt, betrayed, or abandoned, relational EMDR therapy can help you process these painful memories and move towards healthier relationship patterns.
Complex Trauma: Those with a history of repeated or prolonged trauma, such as childhood abuse or neglect, may find EMDR particularly helpful. This approach can address multiple layers of trauma that are deeply intertwined with your emotional and relational experiences.
PTSD and Acute Trauma: EMDR is a well-established treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), helping individuals reprocess disturbing memories so they no longer feel as overwhelming or intrusive. The American Psychological Association recognizes EMDR as an effective treatment for PTSD, particularly for those who struggle to talk about their trauma in traditional therapy settings.
Attachment Issues: If you find it challenging to form secure, trusting relationships due to early attachment wounds, EMDR—especially Attachment-Focused EMDR—can help you heal these deep-seated issues and develop more secure attachment styles.
Addiction and Emotional Regulation Issues: EMDR has also shown promise in helping individuals with addiction and emotional regulation issues that stem from unresolved trauma.

Signs EMDR Might Be Right for You:

You’ve experienced trauma that still affects your daily life and relationships.
You find it difficult to discuss or even think about certain traumatic memories.
Traditional talk therapy hasn’t fully addressed your needs.
You struggle with symptoms of PTSD, such as flashbacks, nightmares, or hypervigilance.
You’re dealing with complex emotions related to past relationships or attachment wounds.

Additional Reading: Explore more signs of trauma in The Silent Unburdening: Signs Your Body Is Releasing Trauma.

When to Consider EMDR as Part of a Comprehensive Therapy Plan

EMDR can be an essential part of a comprehensive therapy plan, especially when other therapeutic approaches haven’t fully resolved your trauma-related issues. It’s not just about treating the symptoms but about addressing the root causes of your distress and how they impact your current life.

After Initial Stabilization: If you’re in crisis or dealing with acute symptoms, it might be necessary to first focus on stabilization through traditional psychotherapy, medication, or other interventions. Once stabilized, EMDR can help process the underlying trauma.
As a Complement to Other Therapies: EMDR can work alongside other therapeutic modalities, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or attachment-based psychotherapy. This integrated approach can offer a more comprehensive healing process, addressing both cognitive and emotional aspects of trauma.
When Dealing with Complex Trauma: If you have a history of complex trauma, EMDR can help unravel the intricate layers of your traumatic experiences. According to studies published in the Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, EMDR is highly effective for treating complex trauma and the emotional dysregulation that often accompanies it.
In Cases of Relational and Developmental Trauma: EMDR is particularly effective for addressing relational and developmental trauma, where early attachment wounds have affected your ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships.

Healing from relational trauma is a complex and deeply personal journey. This journey takes time and does not happen overnight. It certainly isn’t as simple as saying “time heals all wounds”, or “everything happens for a reason”. EMDR offers a powerful and effective pathway to recovery, helping individuals process their past, alleviate emotional distress, and build a healthier future.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the aftermath of relational trauma, consider exploring EMDR as a therapeutic option. With the guidance of a trained EMDR therapist, it is possible to transform pain into healing and reclaim a sense of peace and wholeness.

Counseling Associates for Well-Being: Supporting Your Journey to Emotional and Relational Well-Being

At Counseling Associates for Well-Being, we understand how deeply relational trauma can affect your life, and we’re here to help you navigate the path to healing. Our private practice is dedicated to supporting your emotional and relational well-being through compassionate, personalized care.

Our team of highly trained clinicians specializes in treating trauma and relationship issues using evidence-based approaches like EMDR therapy. We believe in creating a safe, supportive environment where you can explore your experiences, reprocess painful memories, and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

Whether you’re dealing with the effects of past trauma, struggling with current relationship challenges, or seeking to improve your overall mental health, we’re here to walk alongside you every step of the way.

Let us help you take the next step towards a more balanced, fulfilling life. Reach out to Counseling Associates for Well-Being today, and begin your journey to emotional and relational well-being with a team that truly cares about your growth and healing.

Schedule a consultation with one of our experienced mental health professionals at Counseling Associates for Well-Being and start healing.