Our Brains Are Wired to Sync
We are wired toward connection! This is an exciting time in terms of the emerging knowledge regarding our minds and our behavior in relationships. I highly recommend you read the article linked above. Interestingly, recent MRI studies show that participants react to a threat against a loved one with the same intensity as they would a threat to themselves. Daniel Siegel, who is a pioneer in the field of Interpersonal Neurobiology, has written and spoken prolifically for years describing how our minds develop through interactions with others and that processes to integrate the mind heal relationships (and the reverse is true as well). These MRI studies confirm what therapists have known for years about the importance of empathy in our relationships. Also, this type of research is confirming what we know about couples: partners become emotionally attuned to each other and react to the other’s emotions and moods.
The really good news is that when we learn to have attuned communication with others, we actually integrate and improve the wiring in our brains. Attuned communication is defined by Siegel as resonating with another’s inner world. This connects with John Gottman’s research with couples also that happy spouses know each other’s inner worlds. Siegel says we cannot just focus on the thoughts and feelings, but we have to be mindful of the energy in our exchanges with others. Mindfulness practices and meditation can improve our ability to be present in relationships as well as improve our well-being.
If you are interested in improving your understanding of your own behavior in relationships and learning tools to enhance them, I am a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and Certified Hatha Yoga Instructor with expertise in helping individuals and couples improve their communication and lessen their reactivity as well as change patterns that are painful. Please call 706-425-8900 or email [email protected] with questions or to schedule a session.