Real Reasons You Are Going to Couples Counseling

Real Reasons You Are Going to Couples Counseling

Most couples I see state that the reason they are coming to counseling is “to improve communication.” Usually, there IS difficulty with communication, but if people were completely honest, they would give the following many, different, real reasons for seeking couples counseling.

1. I want to have more sex with my partner
2. I want my partner to listen to me
3. I want my partner prioritize me over his/her family of origin/children/work/friends
4. I want my partner to be less emotionally reactive
5. I want my partner to be able to have a calm, rational discussion with me
6. I want my partner to be more passionate about me
7. I want my partner to do more household chores
8. I want my partner to do more childcare
9. I want my partner to stop spending money on…
10. I want my partner to stop telling me to stop spending money on…
11. I want my partner to lose weight
12. I want my partner to stop lying
13. I want my partner to validate my feelings
14. I want my partner to think more logically
15. I want my partner to share his/her feelings
16. I want my partner to calm down when we have conflict
17. I want my partner to stop leaving when we have conflict
18. I want my partner to stop shutting down when we have conflict
19. I want my partner to be more fun loving, like he/she was when we first met, before we got married and had children
20. I want my partner to stop having a physical affair
21. I want my partner to stop having an emotional affair
22. I want my partner to get over my affair
23. I want my partner to stop drinking/smoking/doing drugs
24. I want my partner to love me in a way that heals all of my wounds
25. I want my partner to love me in a way that makes up for my childhood
26. I want my partner to stop yelling at me
27. I want my partner to stop ignoring me
28. I want my partner to finally, fully understand me
29. I want my partner to parent our children the way I do
30. I want to leave my partner but I am worried about him/her and I want him/her to be in the care of a mental health professional
31. I want a therapist to tell us that we need to divorce
32. I want my partner to say that he/she will do anything to save our relationship
33. I want to discuss our conflicts in front of a professional, so I am not so scared
34. I want to discuss our conflicts in front of a professional, so my partner will control him/herself
35. I want the therapist to fix my partner

Do any of these resonate with you? The more honest you can be with yourself about your reasons for seeking couples counseling, the more effective it can be. Need some help in your relationship? Give me a call and let’s get real about what you need.

Susanna Rains Moriarty, LPC, CRC

[email protected]

706-425-8900 ext 709